it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
