According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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