Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
