I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
