The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
