made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
