you have to choose: penises or morals?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
