I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
