Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
