that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
