This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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