just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
