I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
