I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
