he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
