Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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