On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
