Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize