I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
