i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
