Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Success! We fucked roommates!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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