He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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