sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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