is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
There's even glitter on my cock...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
