They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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