We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He had one of those small greek statue penises
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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