Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
