I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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