Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
