There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
