You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
