soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
two words: eviction party
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
