Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
