Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
