Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Randomize
