thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
