I think i sorta joined a cult last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
