ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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