The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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