operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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