I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
