Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize