The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
