You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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