i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
