This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I faked an abortion last night.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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