I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
