I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
