You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
