oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There's always time for handjobs
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
