K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You need Xanax blowdarts
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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