Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
