well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
