fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
