Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
