you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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