No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
