im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
