i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
