i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
