i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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