we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize