When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
