So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
