Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
