I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
