i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
