You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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