I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize