This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Farmville is her only friend.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
