I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
