I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
